The Bucket List
by ImSeeingRed
Summary: Since the sixth grade, Wendy has been living her life in depression in fear. After she starts showing symptoms of a terminal disease, Wendy realizes that life is too short to be miserable.
1. Chapter 1

Before my hero Anne Frank died her untimely death, she wrote in her diary while hiding that she wanted to live on after her death. And you know what? She did live on after her death; she became the poster child of every child that was lost in the Holocaust. Her brilliantly written diary is one of the most read books in the entire world, and that girl has become a household name. Books, movies, documentaries, memes, that girl has been given it all. It seems like a lot of young people who have met tragic ends seem to live on after they die, Anastasia Romanov, Kurt Cobain, and hell, even for some history nuts Mary Queen of Scots. It really just depends on who you are, or the time period you die in.

The problem with today, so little people live on after their untimely deaths, because the world moves on to the next thing so quickly. People forget to just appreciate the people that have been lost, and learn about who they were. Most people in my town and all across North America know about the Aurora Colorado shootings. When they happened, everyone in South Park was in a panic. We all refused to go to the movie theatre for quite some time, in fear of a copycat. People remember the event that happened, and I bet you they can make a mental image of the killer, but if asked to name or even remember the faces of the twelve victims, they would all come to a blank.

Every minute, young people meet their untimely end. Some are brilliant, some are talented, and some have the sweetest of hearts. They are loved by their friends and families, but after those loved ones leave this Earth, these people are officially forgotten. Another small part of this Earth's history, never to be brought up again. If the news is true, I may be one of those eventually forgotten people. I Wendy Testaburger, is being tested for cancer.

My life has always been what one would call "perfectly tragic." Not because my life has been a series of wonderful events to this perfect Mary-Sue-like character, more like because my life has been a series of continuous sad events. I don't think I remember a time in my life where there wasn't SOMETHING going on. So in a way, whenever something happens to me it isn't "oh no, this is terrible" it's "_of course_ this would happen to me." In the second grade, my Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, she survived luckily. However, my family does not like talking about that period in our lives; it was a large crisis for my family. In the fourth grade when that douchebag Eric Cartman just had to push it to the limit, once again, I had to beat the crap out of him. For my Mother, the pain it caused my Father and I, and for Principal Victoria. Years later, in the sixth grade I started to get bullied a lot by the other girls in school. To be honest, in the earlier grades I was one of the "popular kids", but I guess once the teen years role in there is no room for a scholastic, nerdy, musical girl. People would spread rumours about me, backstab me, and there was a Facebook page called "We Hate Wendy". Eventually I started to become depressed, and started to self-harm. The bullying lasted until the eighth grade, and eventually stopped once we entered high school. Stan and I broke up right before high school started, so the year started with me in low spirits. A lot of my early years in high school were spent with me going in and out of depression, sometimes over legitimate reasons, sometimes over petty things. It wasn't like my life was super hard; I had friends, good grades, and loving parents. In the tenth grade, Stan and I got back together.

Then this dreaded year happened…to be honest I can't remember the last time I smiled, and truly felt it. In May, five months ago, Stan broke up with me. His parents found a nude photo of me, and made him break up with me. It disappoints me because I actually loved his parents. Sharon Marsh is a wonderful, kind lady, and Randy Marsh…though he can be a bit crazy, he's still a great person to be around. A few days later, I was in a car accident with my Father. We were both relatively okay, but it was another grievance in a very tough time. Stan and I tried to be together behind his parent's back, but then we both went to different summer camps over the summer. I got into a French immersion program in Canada, and Stan was a CIT at a camp he started visiting every summer in the seventh grade. While there, he officially broke it off with me. When I got home, I found out he met someone new. We are friends now, and we hang out and talk quite a bit, but I still love him. And hearing him talk about her, or other girls, it destroys me on the inside. Ignorance is bliss.

It would have been easier for me to move on if consequences were different for me that summer. Besides Stan leaving me, I was taken advantage of by a boy in the French immersion program.

When this school year started, Stan and I were on weird terms. I didn't know how to describe it, it was like we were friends but we weren't either. We still talked, but I felt this horrible elephant in the room. All I wanted to do was kiss him, tell him I love him, and for things to go back the way they were before. But I knew she existed, she was in between us now, a girl that I didn't even know, became my worst enemy. Over time however, Stan and I started to become cool with one another, we hung out, and we talked a lot. Things are fine between us, and to be honest, at a time like this I need someone like that in my life. Two weeks ago I started to get really sick, tired all the time, coughing, hard time breathing, I just didn't feel like me anymore, at all. That was when my Mom took me to the doctor's…and well the rest is history.

So now, I lay here in my bed, staring at my ceiling wondering what's going to happen to me. I've seen how this whole cancer thing works before, and it isn't fun. They're thinking leukemia, if I do have cancer. Cancer has become more common these days, but people die from it all the time. I'm only 17, in my last year of high school, my life is supposed to be starting soon, and now I'm worrying about it ending. I've wasted so much time being depressed; I haven't left any reason to be missed. I really haven't done anything with my life, and there is still so much that I want to do. If I do have cancer, and even if I do survive, I will still lose valuable time in my youth that I could've spent living or accomplishing goals and dreams. And if I don't survive, I will be a waste of a life on this earth that left no impact. If I don't have cancer, I will never live the same again. This has been a true wake up call, in how quickly life has changed and of how insignificant our little problems really are.

I need to find a way to change things…but how?


	2. The Bucket List

As I lay in bed thinking about my life, the silence is killing me. There is just stillness, like the world is at a pause, waiting for me to do something. I run my fingers through my hair, letting my nails scratch against my scalp, it's an odd habit but it allows me to calm down. I think about my life, and where it really has gone. I used to be such a go-getter; I seemed to have it all. I was captain of the cheer team, I was involved with politics, and I saw the wrong of the world and tried to do things to make it stop. I had dreams as well, and I used to be so optimistic. What the hell happened? I guess life just doesn't cut some people some slack, even when things are bad enough as is.

I roll over and stare at the Cirque du Soleil poster that still remains on my door. What exactly do I want to do with my life? I don't want to keep being depressed, I've wasted so much time within these walls in this bed, crying. I need something that will keep kicking my butt, which will remind me of how precious life is and how much I am capable of doing…

That is when I think of it, my great idea. With a sudden burst of energy and motivation I get out of bed and walk over to my desk. I start up my silver Acer laptop that looks like it is trying way too hard to be a Mac, and open up Microsoft Office 2010. Before I start writing anything, I open up my iTunes and play Burn the Pages by Sia. Then I go back to the blank document, and start writing. Being a former part of the list making committee, this wasn't too hard to do.


	3. Read Into the Wild

School stresses me out.

Despite the fact that I enjoy learning, I have a few really good friends (and a few not so good), and I have really great courses this semester there are some aspects of it that just make my poor short black hair go gray. The main thing being Stan.

Even though Stan and I are "cool" at the moment, seeing him just makes me go insane. Usually, when the two of us hang out, one of us gets hurt, and most of the time that person is me.

Like right now.

It's a Monday, and Stan and I are hanging out at the playground behind our school. It is an oddly hot day, and I have stripped down from my heavy red coat from Forever 21 but I am still wearing blue jeans and a purple t-shirt. Normally, on days like today I would feel a sense of hope, maybe motivation to work extra hard on an assignment or to ask someone to go get Starbucks, but today I feel oddly grounded. I watch as Stan goes back and forth on his swing, as I rock slightly on mine. He is going on about he is planning on meeting up with the girl he met at summer camp, even though I have mentioned a few times that I'd rather not know about her or any of their plans. As he goes on and on, I feel my heart sink further and further into my stomach. I know it is killing me being around him like this, but he is a drug, and sometimes I swear I am addicted to the pain he brings me.

"I wrote a bucket list you know," I say out loud, trying to change the subject. My voice remains at one tone and I notice my hands are clutching the cold hard metal chain links that are holding up the swing.

"Oh that's neat, so anyways Gypsy and I…"

"Stan I don't think you understand how serious this is!" I crack, and leap up from my swing to face him. "This isn't a fucking cold, if it is what it is, I might die!"

Stan stops swinging and allows his feet to scrape against the ground. "Wendy, you'll be fine. If you have cancer, you'll be fine. The survival rate is going up."

"You just don't understand,"

Stan looks at me eye to eye and shrugs. "You're right I don't." he replies before starting to swing again.

Usually after failed interactions that get my hopes up, I go home and cry for a few hours about this kind of thing. Sometimes I annoy my friends about it, but lately since my friends have been getting sick of it, I suffer alone. However, tonight I don't have time to cry or worry about my love life with Stan. My online course for English begins and my parents and I have to drive into Denver to meet the teacher and get any questions we have about online courses answered. Since I have already done an online course before, I don't really have any questions. However, it is always nice to go and get a proper introduction.

I slam the door when I arrive home, feeling a bit sour. My Mom is in the kitchen eating an Activia yogurt, her favorite. A pile of papers sits in front of her paper clipped together all neatly, order is one of my Mother's favorite things as well. "Hey sweetie, how was your day?"

"It was all right Mom," I say trying to avoid looking at her face to face, I head towards the fridge and open it searching for a snack. I see a package of cheesestrings and grab myself one.

"Your teacher sent us these papers to print out for you to read, you're in for a very long semester." Mother informs me with a smile.

I turn to face her with the sweetest fake smile I can muster. "I know mother, but it beats the English teacher at South Park High."

After Mother leaves the room, I take a look at the papers on our kitchen table. The first one explains the course; the next has a calendar of due dates, and the last one of individual study books. It says on the top that we must choose just one to read, and to inform the teacher of our choice as soon as possible. I take a look at the list, and notice that it is about three pages long. As I begin to read it, I have to sit down in shock by the amount of books that are on it.

The choices are just incredible; I don't know how I am going to choose just one single book. Some of them are personal favorites of mine like_ My Sister's Keeper, A Long Way Gone, Perks of Being a Wallflower. _Others are books that my friends are absolutely obsessed with like _Looking for Alaska, Green Mile_ and _The Fault in Our Stars. _A lot of the other books are books that I have been meaning to read for years such as _Fight Club, Frankenstein, _and _Dracula. _As I sit there gaping at all the books I have to choose from, one book in particular stands out the most for me, _Into the Wild_.

The thing about this book is I have been meaning to read this one for years and years. My father is absolutely obsessed with this book, and he has been recommending it to me for quite some time. However, other books always seemed to get in the way and this one just kept on being pushed back. Reading it is actually one of the things I wrote on the bucket list, taking it as fate, I decide that is the one I am destined to read for this course.

Leaving behind the papers and my backpack in the kitchen, I head upstairs into my Father's office. It is a relatively dark room, with dark brown paint, hardwood floors, and a large bookshelf on the wall with my Father's collection of books. Many are Stephen King's and Farley Mowat's works. Right beside Dad's copy of _Animal Farm_ I spot the book sitting there, waiting to be read and enjoyed. I slip it off of the shelf and hold the book in my hands. It has been read a few times, but it is still in pretty good condition. I smile as I stare at the half white, and half gray cover, this is the first thing I can cross off of my bucket list. It may be a small thing, but it is a start.


End file.
